Hello. I know its been a while since I posted in here. I'm Sorry. I've been extremely busy.
To those that know me, you might already know this. I'm a full time Submissive to my friend here in Colorado Springs.
"YOU'RE A SLAVE?! WTF?! ARE YOU INSANE?! YOU MEAN YOU NEED PERMISSION TO DO THINGS?! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!"
Hahaha...thats what you're all thinking. Let me educate you on submissiveness.
Being a sub, it makes me feel whole. Like I was meant to do this. Its a form of trust that runs deep. Through my whole life, since i was the age of 9, I've always had to be the strong one. The one to fix problems, usually problems that would have most people stressing out beyond anything. Where to get money for the power bill, as it was gonna get shut off. How to get food, as that was our last meal. How to get to the doctors appt. at the designated time, without a car that is running. How to pay rent the day it is due. These problems I have encountered numerous times, and have ALWAYS found a solution. ALWAYS. And those around me are amazed that I Was able to pull it off. Then, my strong will wasn't enough to prevent something.
"I have legal guardianship over your mother and her estate..."
There was nothing I could do. Two weeks later, I had to put her in a car, to be taken to a home. Doing this one action, even if it was for the best, of which I know it was, devastated me. She started crying when she got in the car. I couldn't hug her, as I didn't want her to remember me crying. So I put on that stoic face, and went upstairs, and everything collapsed. My knees collapsed, the walls inside fell, and my world was shattered. I cryed on her bed for a bit. Then, once more, I pulled a plan out of my ass to live.
You're asking "What the hell does this have to do with you being a slave to someone?!" aren't you. Let me answer. I'm tired of coming up with ways to fix things. In ten years, this is the first time where I don't have to worry.
"But, you get treated SO badly!!!!"
No, I truly do not. Sure. There's bumps, and miscommunications sometimes, but hes a learning Dom. Its forgivable. My life is stable now. I don't worry about much of anything. My biggest concern, at this very moment, is getting my Doms computer fixed.
Submission: The WILLFUL act of submitting to another person, giving up most or all of their rights willfully.
I've done this. I have a locked collar on "Ghostie owned by Spike 3/19/2012" is on my tag. I also have locked wrist and ankle cuffs. And a locking belt with "Ghostieboi" on it. Spike has the keys. I also have a set, but I ask permission before I unlock anything.
"But...what about your strong will? That spark of life so strong?"
Its still there. I can't exactly get rid of that, so it stays with me, and sometimes shows itself.
This kind of lifestyle makes me truly happy. There's only one thing that would make it perfect. To have my mate with me.
"Is he ok with you doing this? I mean, don't you and your 'dom' have sex all the time?"
Yes, my mate is ok with this. He knows how much I want to do this, and as he is unable to be my Dom (no, I won't say why.) he lets me be Spikes sub. As for the sex, no. BDSM isn't all about sex. its more of a servitude. I pick up the house each day. I make his lunch, and mine if I am having some. He eats on the sofa, I eat on the floor. (keep reading ><) I sit indian style, and have my plate on the table. I perform small tasks around the house to keep it tidy. I don't get yelled at for anything. I don't get treated badly. I'm smart enough to step out of this Submissive role if I was. I've done it once already. It scared the hell out of him. He had messed up, and I called him on it. I can say this though. I'm proud to be his Submissive. Do I get led around on a leash? No. Tied to a bed? Eventually. My restraints have the rings for that.
Besides. I have two very important people guiding me. Charles, my mate. Hes done all of this before. He has the experience. And Elroethrial. One of the closest friends I have. If Spike didn't have my collar, she would. In a heartbeat. Shes given me tons of advice, and has made me think.
For once in the past 12ish years, I'm truly happy. Things happened that has made me cry, and question this, but doing what was done was for the best. I can now truly live my life. Finally.
Questions or concerns, please email me at ghost_tiger001@yahoo.com
May those above shine down on your path of life, as they have done mine.
~Ghostie
