Words....

When I went to Nevada to visit family, I did it on a whim. Spontaneous. I decided that I had enough funds to drive there, and drive back. And I was right. I cut it close, but I did make it. I spent about $550. I was able to visit my lil bro, my dad, and my mom.

I really enjoyed doing those things. I went to Peterson Peak, north of Verdi NV, to the crystal mine, and dug up some crystals. Got some clear ones, a couple of points. But that wasn't the important part. That isn't what mattered. I spent time with my dad, something I haven't done in a very long time. We spent time at the house as well. I kinda pretended I was that 8 year old, who loved to poke his dad in the ribs. They were all very accepting of my boyfriend, Charles. They gave us some home made stew to eat as well. Which is very good.

I visited my mom the first day I was there. She was laying in her bed, which they had to make special, so she wouldn't fall out of it. She has a bone spur, on the ball of her foot, which prevents her from walking. So she is in a wheelchair. She didn't recognize me, but she did respond to me calling her "mom". She turned her head and said "What?" That's as far as her recognition went. She was bruised up too. From all the times she has fallen, or tried to get out of bed. I sat with her, helping her up when she wanted to sit up. Holding her, laying her back down. She started crying too. She was so frustrated, that her mind couldn't make sense of anything.

She also has to be hand fed, as her hand-eye coordination isn't the best. She eats everything though. Shes still pretty strong...I hope she lives for a while still, but I don't think she will....why does this happen? Why does this BUG...this THING.... take peoples minds? Ya, my mom was a manipulative and selfish woman. She did many things to many people. Is this her punishment? I hope not. No one deserves this. Not even the people who molested me. Almost, but no. This is so wrong. Not being able to recognize your own family is wrong. She is alone there. No one can get to her to visit. Did she really deserve this? Truly? I don't know what I will do if she passes....