A single year has passed. 365 days. That amount of time has passed since I received a collar I designed myself. For my Dom, Spike. *giggles* No, not gonna tell you his real name. Its actually been longer than a year. About a year and a half. But when I got my collar and put it on, he brought down a tag, completely surprising me. "Ghostie, owned by Spike. 3/19/2012". Caught me off guard. Wasn't expecting that. for the next couple of months, I tried hard to be a good sub. Did the dishes, and got him lunch and dinner sometimes. All while trying to find a job. Interviews happened, didn't work. But he told me that everything will work out. Will be ok. Which affected me more than I let show. When it came down to moving, my boyfriend came down to help. Which was cool. But we never got back to the spot where we used to be. A routine. Maybe that was a good thing. I have a job now, which is a good thing. Unable to really do a routine at home when you work as well.
I just wish we could get back to that. It was comfy. Instead, my boyfriend stayed. Which is fine. I'm glad he did. But he can be so negative sometimes. He is such a bully sometimes. He gets so jealous. So...scared. He thinks that he will lose me or something. He reads over my shoulder. He gets jealous over the small things, can't stand to leave me alone. I've told him a few times I'm not going anywhere. That I'm not cheating on him. I'm not a very sexual person, so I don't go off in SL and do anything.
My Dom tries to be the best he can be. Sometimes that doesn't work, which is fine. He finally talked to a friend of mine, Elly. Knows me better than i know myself. He finally broke down and asked for a little insight to how I am. He got some, and since, it has been a lot better. He's had to fight with someone who is negative most of the time. Not to mention his own mate who turned out to be a total douche. Constantly put his own mate down, making him feel small, always one upping everyone, or trying to. But he is trying. Spike is trying hard, though he does still have a lot to learn.
A lot has changed since I got that tag. Some for bad, some for good. For example, he has finally learned, or realized, that I like to be gently petted. That I don't really need a collar to be a Sub. That I say a lot, without saying anything. Hes trying to grasp that last part, and figure it out. But he is TRYING.
Love you Spike. As my Dom. You came out to Nevada, and saved me from the streets. I don't have much to offer you, except me being your Sub, and what I can help you learn.
