I went to a meeting tonight, with the local CoP group. We were talking about protocols, rituals, and etiquette. Something I've always been really interested in. And I've learned a few things. I learned that doing these small things is my comfort. For example, taking my dom his food when its cooked. Sitting down on the floor when were all eating in the living room. Those are my rituals. I had it pointed out to me, talking to someone I met there: "I noticed something you said. You are saying they are YOUR rituals. Do you think that you should be making them yours AND his...?" which basically stopped me in my tracks. She had said that Sitting there on the floor eating may be just for me, but wouldn't he like it as well? Just a small touch, gentle squeeze to the shoulder can be enough to appease that feeling of wanting to feel needed. A lingering touch. That touch saying that he appreciates that ritual that I do, so that way it isn't just mine, its mine AND his. Or maybe I will start taking him his dinner, when were all eating in our rooms, and instead of just handing it to him, maybe I will kneel and hand it to him.
"Here is your dinner, Sir." Its really hard though. I've not ever had to do that before. Only online. It was typed out. I can't exactly type out into the air "Yes Master." as that technology doesn't exist. But I'm rather hard headed, and have never had to say it to someone in real life. Yea, I do address strangers as such, Sir or Ma'am, as I was taught. But to say it to someone, and you know their name, its a bit harder. The enforcement of it though, may help. I'm not sure. I may not be as good as a sub as I thought I was. Or maybe I need to get to a certain point, where the natural comes out. I have been rather dominant most of my life, through no choice of my own. Taking care of people, coming up with solutions in a matter of minutes to rather large problems. Things like that, and to let all of that go, even now, after breaking out of my shell, its still a new world. New experiences. Just new things all around.
I would like to have a suggestion box. We all put something in it, at least once per day, then every week, we pull one out, and try it. Be it with both, or just one. If just one, may wanna pull out another one later that day for the other, or go between the two. Anyways, something like that. When we start getting more stuff in the BDSM dept, the presenter of the discussion had another wonderful idea. If something has been on the Subs mind for a while, slip that particular toy under the pillow of the Dom. If you do it, you do. If not, set aside a time in the next 2-4 days to do it. But that way the Dom KNOWS whats on his subs mind.
A few of the other things that were talked about is protocol. Like a written set of rules for the Dom/sub household. Not really rules, just protocols for how things are done, handled, resolved, ecetera. Now granted, this could take months, and I don't mind that. I'm thinking about once a week, we all sit down, leave phones and electronics in the rooms, and see if we can't come up with things. I'm not quite sure how protocols would be, or written. I will need to look it up some, and provide some examples.
Another thing is etiquette. How does one act in certain places? Like, how do we do things in the mall? Out walking around Manitou? Garden of the Gods? I'm not sure. Are we entering into the realm of the leather spectrum of the BDSM world? Should I start calling him Sir, even in public? A lot of things were answered for me at that meeting, yet more questions came up. So I want to live in a leather household? Be treated like a leather boy? I don't know. It sounds like something I would like to explore, so I will definitely put it in the suggestion box.
Don't get me wrong. The playtimes are still rather important, and rather enjoyable. Things to do, or learn about in playtime will also be put in that box.
There were so many things learned, I'm afraid I don't remember it all. I hadn't eaten all day, so my mind was not so sharp. I'm sorry for that. Seems these things were the most important though. A lot of things were learned tonight, at this meeting. Some good insight, and ideas, methods. I want to go further with this. No, you don't need to become a strict leather daddy to me. Though I will admit, it does sound interesting.
This is all I can come up with for now. Towards the end, I was losing the thoughts that were in my head. I'm sorry for that.
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