I dunno....

So I went to a meeting on Sunday. Well, more of a social gathering, really. Me and my boyfriend went to the underground to meet with a bunch of people who were into the whole BDSM like we were. We talked and all of that. Well, Charles did most of the talking while I was there for moral support. He didn't want to go by himself, so I went with him. It was a nice time. A Dominant, Wally, met with Charles there, so Charles could ask his questions. I don't remember many of them, as I wasn't as interested in it as he was. While I still am interested, I want to go more slow, and I'm not sure what to ask. I did hear an interesting story. Wally, the night before (I believe) attended a dinner, where 8 or so leatherboys serviced 20 Doms. All they wore were their collars. Yes, these boys were shared between the Doms. It sounded interesting, but at the same time, what else were they there to do? There was also another furry there who wanted to become a "Furry Master" as Wally put it. I kind of almost started laughing, but I restrained myself. I mean... Furry Master... ? Yea, he was a furry, and the first thing that went through my head was "Furries ruin everything." I laughed and giggled for a while after that.

*switches gears*

I learned something else that has kind of bothered me. My boyfriend isn't monogamous. Well, not sexually anyway. He wants to go play with a friend at RMFC, of which I had a hard time accepting. I know he hasn't had anyone like me before. A lot of firsts have been done. I told him that I would become rather upset if that happened. Yea, we get bent by our Dom, Spike. But we both know him, he lives in the same house and whatnot. He wants me to just let him go off, and get bent by someone I don't know. Yet he gets upset when I mention bending Draggie over.

He then wants me to accept that he very well could get bent by another Dom, and uses that to justify letting me bending over Draggie. I don't know if I could let him get bent by anyone else, except Spike, really. I usually see that as cheating, though I know its not. Hell, if he truly wanted me not to bend Draggie over, I won't. But then, he can't say he's gonna go play with a friend at RMFC, or get bent by another Dom. With him jumping into all of this so fast, its going to be hard for me to keep up, and that's even if I can. I might be left behind while he does all of this, and soon enough, he will stop looking behind him, and I've lost him. I know I can't give him what he wants now. The whole strict leather daddy. I've tried. It didn't work. I've tried the cubby thing as well. That worked a little better. But not as much as he wanted. I don't know what else he wants. He says he needs this leather house style in his life. Yes, it interests me a lot. But I'm afraid he will get caught up in it, and not have the patience to wait for either me or Spike. Then, I will be in the middle. I See this happening. Hell, I've seen it happen. I hope its just my overactive imagination, and me over-thinking things. Not sure if I can do that. It scares me. The thought of my mate going to another Dom...it scares the hell out of me. He could get so caught up in it .. "You're mine and mine alone.." could be said, and he would go "Yes sir.." before realizing what was said. Then, I'd have lost him. Yea, he says that won't happen. Or they won't do that. Or I won't let that happen...stuff like that. But its still a fear. A large one.