A letter of ... Intent?...of Me.

For a small while now, I've been exposed to my owner, Spike. I've opened fully to Him, and in by doing so, I hope to further the relationship we have going. I realized I wasn't opening enough to him, due to my instinct to protect myself, from all sorts of things, like broken hearts, disappointment, and related emotions. I've got a history of not dealing with those things, to the point, as my psychologist once said: "You have a near phobia fear of dealing with difficult emotions." So I opened myself completely, and it took quite a bit for that shell to crack. I'm opened that crack, and took a piece out of that egg shell, and hopefully that shell can come down, and I can show him what true submission, in my eyes, is.

This list of questions is the beginning of that teardown.

Tell me about yourself. 
My name is Ghost Tiger. That has been shortened to Ghostie, and then Ghotieboi. I'm 33 years old, and I enjoy lots of things. I can be perfectly self sustainable if required. I've got a lot in my past that will need wading through. A couple of people who have helped me is Charles, my boyfriend, and Spike, the one who has me collared. I'm capable of a level of submission not seen anymore, to my knowledge. I want to show Him what it is like, and hopefully open his eyes, and his mind, to this level.

What do you mean when you ask me to dominate you?
 I want you to have the final decision in almost every aspect of my waking life. From wearing cock cages, to the way I dress, my actions of what I do in my free time. How to address you, make your life easier. I also want to be held, petted. Should I stand up when you come downstairs, or wherever I'm sitting? Give my seat to you? Of course, only when I'm not working. Drive you places, be it in your car, or mine? Make your calls, or if you don't want to talk to someone any longer, should I intervene? These are the things that appeal to me, and I would love to put this into practice.

When you ask that I dominate you, what are you proposing?

Take control. If you don't like what I'm wearing, have me change into something you want to see. If I don't have that item, I will make sure to get it when I can. My hair? want it blue, just tell me, and I will make it happen. If there is something you want me to do, tell me to. if I don't, punish me somehow. Also, be there when I am down. If you notice me not being myself, don't ask me if I'm ok, I will simply say yes. Tell me you know I'm distressed, then proceed to find out whats going on. Be it thoughts of my Mother, or something at work. If I'm pushed, I will tell you.

What are you offering me? Service? What sort of service? Casual S&M play? A relationship?

I'm offering you Me. Service, a relationship of a Master and his sub boi. The connections that can be made, felt, seen. You've got my loyalty already. If there was some reason you came into bodily harm, and I was there, they wouldn't be able to get to you. I would protect you. Me being stronger doesn't have to be a set back. Advice? I've got a lot. Wisdom? I've been told I'm extremely insightful. I don't have a lot of material to offer. I do have a lot of heart though. Passion.  

What sort of relationship would you like this to be? Monogamous and sexual? Strictly play? Strictly service? 24/7?
 24/7 service. If I'm not at work, I want to be yours. Yes, there will be times I want to do my own thing. I don't want to sit there at your feet, and wait on you hand and foot. I don't want to actively wait in your room while you're playing games, or watching something on TV. Out in the stores, or errands, take control. Want me walking behind you? Tell me. I want this connection we have to grow. I feel in my heart that we are headed there since Draggie came. You're right. He was a huge catalyst for this. If not for him, we wouldn't be at this point.

How experienced are you?

Online only, up until you collared me in real life. My online experience, I've been told I'm a dying type of person. That I'm a True Submissive. I don't submit or serve because i was taught. I don't submit because I am told to, nor because it is expected of me. I serve and Submit because I love, and respect my Master.
 
What hasn't worked for you as much?

Lying and deceit. Hiding things, because you may think it might hurt me. Keeping things hidden hurt me more than simply telling me the truth.


Tell me one of your fantasies.
 To be truly taken by my Master. Made helpless, and then taken, and while being taken, calling you Master. Being the only one, or one of two, that you do take.

If we play, how will you react? Will you laugh? Will you cry? Will you get quiet? Will you seem angry?

I get quiet when I'm being taken. I may moan quietly, but it will be rather quiet. I may begin to quietly ask you to cum inside of me. I will also quietly call you Master when I do so.

 What are your limits?
No physical violence. No emotional abuse (calling me names, and being serious). Nothing that is an offshoot of these things. Calling me Sub, Pet, or anything like that is ok.


These things are what I think would make things more exciting for both of us, and develop a deeper connection. I know you're a rather sexual person, and I'm trying to get up there so you don't have to look elsewhere for it. I do feel, after the other night, and after everything that has happened since, you did go somewhere else, that I would be destroyed. I'd be extremely hurt. After the blogs, and me coming out of the shell I made myself, and making myself appealing to you enough to ask me to present myself, I'd get real hurt if you did go to someone who wasn't your boy/girl friend. I've set everything out now. *hug*